DeeKnow’s Grotto

Hi. I’m Dean and I’m an Addict

I just checked the other day and realised that I’ve been playing various versions of Microsoft’s Flight-Simulator since the mid-eighties, which means around 20-years of on and off activity in one game. I really don’t play many others, sure there’s the odd bought of PlayStation fever (Gran Turismo, GTA, MotoGP etc) but as far as PC gaming goes FlightSim is about it for me.

Recently however my interest in simming has apparently turned into more of an obsession. Something my domestic accountant has been quick to point out, and this has led me to consider how it was I transformed from casual player to hard-core addict. Like most addictions it turns out there are a number of tell-tale signs that I present to you should you have a friend or loved one you are worried about.

10 Signs your a flight-sim addict

1. installing custom aircraft or scenery

The out of the box sim experience is very engaging and there is an awful lot to learn if you want a successful landing percentage, and a low rate of aircraft destruction. Very soon you realise though that the standard scenery just doesn’t cut the mustard. with a little effort you source and install freeware scenery packs to make your local airstrip look a little more like the real thing.

2. installing AI aircraft and real-world schedules

Scenery looks good, and you have all your favourite aircraft installed, but now you begin to realise the other aircraft in the skies don’t resemble the real-world. Now you devote some time to learning how to install AI aircraft and install skins for them representing your local airlines, and setting up AI schedules so they leave and depart at the exact times they do in real life. This is an early sign you are struggling to differentiate between the real, and the illusion.

3. paying for commercial add-ons

Once you’ve downloaded a few dozen freeware scenery or aircraft add-ons you begin to wonder what it would be like to lift the appearance a little more by paying for a commercial add-on. Like any drug however this short-term change to the fix is really just an illusion and you only end up wanting even higher quality and features. The credit card is getting stretched now, you are thinkin about stealing from your family or spouse

4. creating or modifying your local airports

Soon the airports don’t quite seem accurate enough, you notice a missing taxiway, the signage on buildings isn’t quite right, the trees are in the wrong place. Now you are actually engaging so much with the make-believe you are actively modifying or fabricating the world around you to suit your distored view.

5. upgrading your PC

You’ve loaded up the environment now with so many plug-ins and add-ons that the hardware is finally pushed to the limit and you convince yourself that its time to upgrade, even though the sim is probably the only thing that gets anywhere near the limits of the machine. Its time for a second-mortgage on the house at this point as you couldn’t possibly stand not buying the latest and greatest CPU/video-card/mb/ram/HDD combo and of course that liquid-cooled case. After the upgrade you also feel compelled to share the details of the upgrade, as if its some life changing experience that has liberated you from a low-grade addictive experience.

6. buying a second (or third) monitor

At this point your mental addiction is turning into a physical one such that your visual systems are not satiated any longer by the sight of a single monitor. This next step involves adding at least two additional monitors, all wide-screen of course, the panorama is spectacular, gauges and panels are liberally placed on monitor locations that resemble their placement in a real-world cabin. Your physical thirst seems to be met, for the short term.

7. flying online with simulated ATC

The environment seems to be about as good as it gets and your localised personal experience has reached nirvana, or so you think. Its about now you realise that you must share your addiction with others by flying with others online over an Internet connection. The drive for this is partly due to imagined synergistic ecstasy, and partly to share responsibility for your developing dependency with others, shifting the blame.

8. registering with a virtual airline

Things are getting dangerous now. You are going beyond differentiating between real-life and the simulation, pushing through the mist to join a virtual online airline. You sign up as a junior pilot, interact with other confused addicts in a virtual business, training and moving from one aircraft to another, receiving virtual awards, promotions, recognition for good flying practice, reprimand for the bad. You are clearly in the Matrix now and there’s no going back

9. fantasising about being a commercial pilot

Finally you begin to have serious delusions of grandeur, you actually believe that through your virtual airline experience that you are now ready to fly a real aircraft, or in practice the next best thing, which is a commercial flight simulator. You buy yourself a white business shirt, fit some lapels and find a pilots hat in a fancy-dress store, and off down to the mall to strap yourself into a 737. There is a positive aspect to this advanced stage of addiction, at least now you are out an about a little, interacting with people in the real world. This doesn’t last long though.

10. building your own home simulator

The final sorry stage of this awful disease is retiring to your basement to begin construction of a full-scale home-based simulation of your favourite aircraft. There is no escape at this point, the task is enormous and will never be complete, the further the project goes the more terrible the prospect of the work to come and the likelihood of it failing. Total withdrawal from society commences, certain divorce and disengagement from family, the days, weeks and years drift by as pizza boxes stack up at the bottom of the stairs. No form of intervention will work at this point. All is lost.

Please forward this information on to anyone you think is at risk. Even Stephen Spielberg recently confessed to having logged 3,000 hours in “Flight Simulator” so if powerful folks like him are vulnerable then we all need to be alert.