The World is Ending… Gwynne said so…

Gwynne Dyer The world is ending, run for the hills. Gwynne Dyer said so, it must be true.

Ok, so he didn’t actually say it was ending but he covered some pretty gloomy topics and delivered some alarming stats at his talk at Waikato University tonight that might lead you to believe that it was. When I got home Kym asked me for a summary of the talk at the end of which she said “So was it all Doom and Gloom?“, but I guess that is the role of a journalist like Gwynne and the topics he covers. He’s in the business of informing people about broad reaching global influences and encouraging people to think about how they might themselves do something to make a change.

Dyer gave us a round-up of issues he thought weren’t a big problem, some others he thought were a problem, and a few more that were problems he was really worried about. If you’re a regular reader of his newspaper columns (which are widely syndicated, including by our local Waikato Times) you’ll know that he is a reporter who focuses on problems, so when he says he’s particularly worried about any of them then you can be sure they are issues to be taken seriously.

Some of the issues that made it into the less serious camp included American withdrawl from Iraq and Afghanistan (they will bounce back in their own natural way and time), Oil supply issues (the vendors will always need to sell their oil, to buy food and comodities), the conflict between Georgia/the West and Russia (storm in a teacup).

The issue that he really reinforced as more serious centred around Global warming, its likely affect on traditional food growing regions of the planet, potential conflict between nations over food supply, and the very real potential for catastrophic global thermal runaway that will be beyond our control if temperatures rise by more than the two or three degrees that is expected to result in this.

So was it really all Doom and Gloom? Dyer did discuss some Geo-Engineering options that are being considered to help defer the onset and initial impact of global warming but these are stop gaps which dont offer a solution to the problem of escalating warming. The scientific consensus is apparently that we are unlikely to be able to react in time to stop the process, and that global industrialisation in nations whose “turn it is” now clearly isnt helping.

So where do we go from here? I dont know that there really was any clear message from the speaker regarding this, other than looking at technology for energy generation options with less impact, doing what we can to reduce our input into warming, considering Geo-Engineering options and such like. I get the sense that there’s a big helping of good luck and timing required, but one relatively comforting outcome from the talk came right at the end when Dyer said…

“I’m not quite ready to cut my throat… yet”

How to take-over a Planet in 5 easy steps

thor_asgard.jpg Everybody knows right, that Earth has been visited by numerous alien races like the Grays, the Nordics and various Lizard people related to the Royal family for the last few thousand years, and that they have been present here semi-permanently since the 1940s. We also know of course that they’ve been sharing technological advances with us, probing our bottoms and reproductive systems, and transporting select people to and from their home systems. Oh and of course that they have been genetically modiying a subset of our population and their hybrid descendents, and collaborating telepathically with the new world order in order that we as a species might better cope with the challenges to come.

I’m not sure I understand the Alien agenda really but whatever they’re up to just seems to be too much hard work, to be way to visible and be taking much too long. I have a better suggestion for all Aliens reading this blog post (you know who you are) as to how this could all be short-cut to a great degree. If I personally wanted to invade or manipulate a planetery population like ours, this is how I’d handle it:

  • Get a crack team of your software developers together
  • Have them master the Sony PS2/3 and XBox developer toolkits (dont worry about Wii)
  • Have them design a game featuring your own Alien species, accurately modelled
  • Make the theme of the game be to exploit and destroy your people
  • Sit back and watch, observe the creative desctructive genius that is Human-kind

Once you’ve released a few add-on packs, bonus levels and weapons, and let Humans really exploit what they think is a fictional Alien species, you will then know enough about your own weaknesses, how to defend yourself against the Earthling mongrels, and understand their psyche such that invasion will be an overwhelming and glorious victory with few losses.

The operation will certainly be popular with the voters back in the Pleiades system, you will be a hero and the Emperor will be forever thankful, which is a long time considering you’re likely to be living for a few hundred more solar years yet. Nanu Nanu !!!

ps – I accept all local Galaxian credits as payment for my cunning plan